Discussion: Screen time rules - what's actually reasonable?

Dec 21 min read

I feel like I'm either too strict or not strict enough, there's no middle ground. Some parents I know let their kids basically free reign with tablets and I feel judgy but also maybe I'm being too rigid? Our rule is basically 1 hour on school days and 2-3 hours on weekends but we bend it all the time. What's your actual policy and do your kids seem well-adjusted on it? Curious what the consensus is because parenting books are basically useless on this topic.

12 comments315 views

Comments(12)

RRandy S.RegularDec 3

Honestly the fact that you're asking this means you're not being unreasonable. The truly strict parents don't question themselves. The truly permissive ones don't care. You're in the reflective zone which is where good parenting happens.

MMike T.RegularDec 4

I was exactly like you - so worried about being judgy that I second-guessed every limit. Turned out I was actually being too loose. My 7yo was sneaking screen time, lying about it. Once I got stricter about it (with explanation, not just "because I said so"), the sneaking stopped and he actually seemed calmer. Different kid.

JJosh E.RegularDec 4

The middle ground is having a clear rule and sticking to it. Kids actually WANT boundaries even when they whine about them. Makes them feel safer. What's your current setup?

TTom E.RegularDec 3

The sweet spot seems to be having a clear rule and sticking to it rather than being super strict OR super loose. Kids actually prefer knowing where the line is even if they complain about it.

LLarry K.RegularDec 3

Stop judging the other parents and focus on YOUR family. That's the whole thing - there's no universal right answer. Some kids do fine with lots of screen time, some kids get glued to it and can't function. You gotta know YOUR kids. What happens when you give them tablets - do they self-regulate or do you have to pry them away?

OOscar D.New DadDec 4

I went strict, felt bad, loosened up, then realized my kid was way more irritable on high screen days. Now we do 1 hour on school days, no screens after dinner. He actually pushes back less because it's predictable. Might give you a framework to try?

BBen H.RegularDec 4

The parents with "free reign" kids are not having a good time, trust me. I know a few and their kids are either anxious or impossible to manage. You're not being rigid if you have a reason for your limits - what are your actual rules?

AAaron W.RegularDec 5

There absolutely is a middle ground. Sounds like you're already searching for it which means you're probably fine. The "free reign tablet" parents aren't actually fine either, they're just not anxious about it yet.

TTravis N.RegularDec 5

What's your actual rule rn? Like are you doing time limits or content filtering or both? That might help figure out if you're being reasonable

AArchie K.RegularDec 5

The fact that you feel judgy about the other parents AND worried you're too strict means you're probably in the actual healthy zone. The helicopter parents and the checked-out parents both feel confident. You're clearly thinking about it.

LLarry P.RegularDec 5

lol the judging parents are usually the ones most insecure. Don't be them. Set reasonable limits that work for YOUR family and stop comparing.

WWade T.New DadDec 5

There's definitely a middle ground. We do 1 hour on weekdays, unlimited on weekends basically. No screens at dinner, no screens before bed. Our kids are 6 and 9 and honestly they don't fight it much because they know the boundaries are consistent.