Asking for myself. We do the whole routine - bath, story, quiet time, no screens after 7. Kid is STILL awake at 9:30 singing to himself. Not upset, just... vibing. I'm the one falling asleep in the chair next to him. Is his brain just wired different or are we doing something wrong?
You're doing everything "right" but his brain might just not be ready to sleep. Some kids are genuinely wired for later bedtimes - fight it too hard and you get years of battles. We moved our kid's bedtime from 7:30 to 8:15 and the problem mostly solved itself. He actually sleeps through the night now instead of this zombie-vibing situation.
Have you asked his pediatrician if this is normal for him? Some kids genuinely need less sleep and that's fine as long as he's not actually overtired during the day. The vibing to himself thing sounds pretty chill honestly.
Some kids just have wired-different brains when it comes to sleep. Our 5yo is the same way - dead calm at 9:30, just... vibing. Not upset, not crying, just existing. We eventually accepted that he needed more downtime/quiet time rather than earlier bed. Now he goes to bed at 8:15 instead of 7:30 and actually SLEEPS when his brain is ready.
The singing to himself thing - is he in his own room or in with you? If he's alone and content, maybe he doesn't need you there? That might be keeping him in a weird limbo state where he's not fully ready to sleep but also not fully engaged.
Lmao the image of you falling asleep while he vibes to himself is peak dad life. But real talk - if he's not freaking out and you're getting through it, might just be his normal. Some brains are wired to need less sleep or to decompress differently.
Our 5yo is the same way. Pediatrician said some kids are just wired differently. As long as he's getting enough total hours (they need like 10-13 at that age) and he's not miserable, it's probably just his normal. The singing to himself is actually him self-soothing, which is healthy.
Some kids just have high energy and don't need as much sleep. My 5yo is the same - he's not overtired or upset, his brain just doesn't shut off as early. We've basically accepted that "bedtime" starts at 8 but he doesn't actually sleep until 9:30 or 10. Is he getting like 10-11 hours total?
Singing to himself at 9:30 is actually a good sign - he's not distressed. Could be his natural sleep rhythm is just later. Some kids are genuinely wired to go to bed later. You falling asleep in the chair though is the real problem here. Is he actually sleeping worse or just going down later?
Does he seem fine the next day? Like actually awake and okay, or is he dragging? If he's fine, he's probably fine. Some kids just have lower sleep requirements. Sucks for bedtime but not the worst thing.
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Okay so the "no screens after 7" thing is good but some kids just need even more downtime. Like no screens after 6:30, quiet activity for 30 minutes, then bed. And honestly? Some kids don't need bed at 7:30. Ours actually sleeps BETTER when we push it to 8:15 because her body is actually tired instead of forced.