Help: 4yo daughter wants to cut her own hair

Dec 261 min read

She's decided she wants to "style" herself and I caught her with safety scissors near her hair yesterday. Obviously I hid the scissors but now she's mad about it. Part of me wants to just let her go to a salon and get a kid haircut so she can feel like she did something? But I'm also nervous she'll hack it up badly and then be upset about that too. How do you let kids have autonomy without total disaster?

10 comments497 views

Comments(10)

GGene K.RegularDec 26

This is tough because part of independence is letting them make small mistakes but a bad haircut is going to bother her for months. Maybe offer to do a small trim together - like you hold the scissors and guide her hand?

DDanny G.RegularDec 27

This is actually a phase and redirecting is smarter than forbidding. When my daughter got obsessed with cutting, we did supervised craft sessions with construction paper. Now she's 6 and over it.

HHank W.RegularDec 26

If you're considering letting her do it, go to a children's salon and let them do a tiny trim she chooses. She gets the autonomy, you don't end up with a haircut disaster, and they're used to this.

TTom R.RegularDec 27

lol one of my buddies let his 4yo do this and she cut a chunk right in the front. He had to take her to get it "fixed" which meant they had to cut it even shorter. Just say no and give her the alternative activity.

JJamal W.RegularDec 27

Let her cut SOMETHING but not her head. Get one of those cutting practice books with tissue paper or get her a hairdresser play set. She gets to "style" without permanent consequences. Win-win.

IIan P.RegularDec 27

Do NOT let her do it herself lol. I have a photo somewhere of my 4yo's haircut experiment - it's not cute, it's a disaster. But you could let her help you cut hers maybe? Like supervised with actual kid scissors on a tiny section?

AAndy S.RegularDec 28

My daughter did cut her own hair at 4 and honestly it wasn't that bad because she basically just grabbed a front section. The actual disaster would have been if she'd gone full Edward Scissorhands on the back. So yeah hid the scissors was the right call

OOmar S.RegularDec 28

You could let her pick out clips or bows to 'style' her hair instead? Gives her that control feeling without the irreversible damage

IIan P.RegularDec 28

Do NOT let her free-hand it. I made that mistake and my 4yo decided to give herself bangs. BANGS. That we paid $60 to fix. Hide the scissors, get her a toy salon station instead with pretend scissors.

TTim K.RegularDec 28

Give it like a week and she'll forget about it. 4yos are all about wanting to do things until they realize it's actually boring or hard