My oldest was really into basketball and video games but lately he just seems... done? With everything? Comes home from school, goes to his room. I don't want to push too hard but I'm worried. Is this normal teen stuff or should I be concerned? How do I approach this without making him shut down more?
This could be the depression stuff honestly. I'm not trying to be alarmist but losing interest in everything he used to enjoy is a pretty big flag. Might be worth talking to someone about it.
The apathy phase is real. Doesn't last forever but man it's brutal to watch. Just keep doing your thing and showing up for him even when he acts like he doesn't care.
Have you asked him what he wants to do instead of what he doesn't want to do? My son was the same way and it turned out he'd rather be playing guitar than basketball but we never asked, we just assumed he'd stay interested in the same stuff.
Thirteen is kind of a weird age where he's transitioning out of kid stuff but not really into much else yet. Mine went through something similar and it turned out he just needed some space and time to figure out what he actually liked versus what we thought he'd like.
Honestly at 13 the friends thing might be more important than any activity anyway. Is he still hanging out with kids from school or has he kind of withdrawn from that too?
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Try doing something with just him that's low pressure. Not basketball, not forcing the video games, just like watching a movie together or going for a drive. Sometimes they need to feel like you're not trying to get them interested in something, you're just trying to spend time with them.