Question: 4yo won't stop interrupting during work calls, what am I missing?

Dec 161 min read

So I work from home 3 days a week and my daughter (4, almost 5) has started this thing where she NEEDS me for something the EXACT moment I'm on a call. Like, within 30 seconds. It doesn't matter what she needs—juice she already has, a question about why clouds are white, to show me a drawing. I've tried:

Setting up a "busy box" with special toys
Timing her snack/activity before calls
Explaining (repeatedly) that daddy is working
Letting her sit quietly near me

Nothing sticks. My wife works outside the home so it's on me during those hours. Am I being unrealistic expecting a 4yo to entertain herself for 30 mins? Should I just accept that calls are going to be chaos? Would love to hear how other WFH dads handle this because I'm losing it.

10 comments392 views

Comments(10)

CChuck M.RegularDec 17

This is the work-from-home trap. She's learned that your work is the ONE thing that will actually get your attention. Could you try doing something incredibly boring but in-person right when you finish a call? Like she gets 5 mins of your complete attention before the next one?

VVic G.RegularDec 17

Set a timer. Tell her "Dad's got a call from 2-2:30, timer's running, if you don't interrupt me we do 15 minutes of your choice after." Sounds harsh but it actually respects her by being clear about expectations instead of her just guessing why you're suddenly unavailable.

JJamal W.RegularDec 17

Lmao my 4yo does this exact thing. I started putting a specific toy bin out during my calls and she can only open it then. Occupies her brain, feels special, and I don't have a 4yo screaming "DAAAD" while I'm presenting financials.

BBrad N.RegularDec 17

This is actually pretty normal. She's not trying to ruin your day - she just doesn't understand that work calls are different than regular time. Consistency matters more than the specific solution. Whatever you pick, stick with it for like 2 weeks before changing it.

TTerrence J.RegularDec 18

4yos have this insane spidey sense for when you're on video. It's like they can FEEL it. Only thing that worked for us was giving him a 'special call time activity' - we got a cheap tablet and some new games he ONLY gets during my calls.

DDale J.RegularDec 18

The 30-second timing is not coincidence btw. She's testing to see if you'll choose her over work. Nothing wrong with that developmentally, just means you gotta be consistent about boundaries. What happens if you tell her 'I can help in 20 mins when this call is done'?

DDave K.RegularDec 17

My 4yo does the exact same thing and it's actually worse on the important calls. Pretty sure she can hear the client's voice and knows it matters more so now she HAS to interrupt. Have you tried giving her a specific task right before you go on?

DDale A.RegularDec 19

Lol same. My solution was honestly just accepting that some calls will have background noise. I put her in the other room with snacks and a movie and made peace with whatever she's doing. Clients with kids get it, clients without kids don't care.

DDan T.RegularDec 19

4-year-olds have a 6th sense for when you're on a call. It's not strategic, it's just that your attention is elsewhere and they feel it. Try telling her exactly when your calls are and giving her a specific task during that time. Not a screen - like a puzzle or building blocks.

RRuben A.New DadDec 18

I've had success with a visual schedule she can see. Like a dry erase board that says "9am call" with a picture. Kids feel way less anxious if they KNOW when you're available again instead of assuming you're gone forever.