Took my kids to the zoo for the first time and barely made it home alive

Dec 261 min read

So we went to the Phoenix Zoo with our 3yo and 5yo yesterday thinking "it'll be a nice morning outing." WRONG. 5yo was immediately exhausted by the third exhibit. 3yo only wanted to run toward the dangerous animals. I spent 90% of the time either carrying someone or refereeing a dispute about whose turn it was to hold my hand. We made it about 90 minutes before a full meltdown about ice cream happened and we had to bail. I was absolutely soaked in sweat and someone's unidentified sticky substance.

BUT—and this is important—my 5yo did look genuinely amazed when we saw the giraffes up close, and my 3yo said "bear" like 47 times and it was pretty cute. So like, would I do it again? Ask me again after I recover. Did they have fun even though I aged 5 years? Yeah probably.

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Comments(10)

DDale J.RegularDec 26

The dan...? Post cut off but yeah the zoo is a trap for first timers. Two different age kids means you're basically herding cats. Pro tip: go right when it opens, hit the shaded exhibits first, bail by lunch.

BBen D.RegularDec 29

wait so you BARELY made it home alive meaning someone had a meltdown in the car or...? Because if it was the 3yo melting down the whole drive back that's actually impressive you survived tbh

KKent R.RegularDec 26

barely made it home alive is right haha. The car ride back must have been rough

TTravis N.RegularDec 26

5yo being exhausted by exhibit 3 is so real though. We learned that day that "fun experience" and "logistically easy" are mutually exclusive with kids that age spread. Maybe next time just do 90 mins tops and call it a win?

TTyler K.RegularDec 27

Phoenix Zoo is huge too which doesn't help. Did you guys at least get to see the big cats or did it all blur together by then?

TTerrence J.RegularDec 28

Phoenix Zoo is NO JOKE with the heat too right? Did you go summer or is it cool enough year-round there? That's gotta add to the exhaustion factor

SSteve Q.RegularDec 28

Pro tip for next time: go right when it opens (you probably know this now lol), plan for like 2 hours max, and just accept you'll see maybe 40% of the zoo. Also the bathroom situation at Phoenix Zoo is rough when you're herding a 3 and 5yo

OOmar S.RegularDec 28

The third exhibit thing is so real. Kids just hit a wall out of nowhere and you're like 'we've been here 45 minutes???'

PPete S.RegularDec 26

Yeah the 5yo exhaustion thing - I think they don't realize how much walking they're doing when there's so much stimulus. Next time maybe take turns with one parent doing a quick loop while the other sits in the shade with a snack?

TTerrence M.RegularDec 29

This is why we do one outing per kid now instead of family expeditions. Sounds harsh but honestly 3yo's pace + 5yo's expectations = nobody's happy. We alternate who picks the weekend activity.