Our 12yo says she's doing homework on her laptop but the screen time logs show she's on YouTube. When we confront her she swears she "just had it open" or "was watching ONE video." But like... the logs don't lie lmao. It's becoming a trust issue and I'm not sure how to handle it without becoming "that dad" who monitors everything. How do you guys call them out without starting a war?
Have you checked if she's using a second device? My kid was doing homework on the laptop while watching YouTube on her iPad. The logs only showed what I was monitoring. Might be worth asking her directly about other devices.
this hit hard because my 12yo does the exact same thing and we've had the same conversations. I started requiring homework to be done on a shared family computer in the living room. No privacy but at least I know what's actually happening.
This is brutal because they genuinely don't think they're lying. In their brain 5 hours of YouTube with homework open is "mostly homework." Had a real conversation with mine about what homework actually is and how long it should take. Helped when I wasn't accusatory about it.
Wait, are you checking the actual app usage or just total screen time? Because there's a difference and if you're just seeing screen time she might genuinely think she's in the clear if homework app was open. Not defending the lying but context matters.
lol same, my kid does this exact thing. I switched to using parental controls that actually block YouTube during homework hours instead of just monitoring it. Way less arguing about what "counts" as work.
We had to literally sit down and watch the logs together so she could see the timestamp where YouTube was open for 3 hours straight during her "homework session." Sounds harsh but she stopped the lying after that because she couldn't deny it.
The "just had it open" excuse is so classic. I started asking my 13yo to show me her actual browsing history instead of just trusting the screen time number. Turns out YouTube was open in one tab but she was also switching between TikTok and Discord. The numbers don't lie but kids are creative with excuses.
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The "it was just open" excuse is wild lol. My 13yo tried that exact line and I showed her the actual YouTube watch history. She went silent real quick. Now we do random spot checks on her actual browser history, not just the screen time summary.
The lying part is what gets me more than the screen time itself. Like we can work on limits but the lying means we can't trust what she tells us about anything. How are you handling the trust angle?
Real talk though - at 12 she's probably embarrassed about what she's watching too, not just sneaking screen time. Might be worth having a less confrontational conversation about why YouTube pulls her in so hard instead of just catching her in lies.