Caught my 12yo on TikTok at 2am

Dec 261 min read

I'm actually furious. Found him scrolling through TikTok under his blanket at like 2 in the morning. We have a rule - phones stay downstairs after 9pm. Obviously that's not working. Confiscated the phone for a week. Now he's mad at me and my wife thinks a week is too harsh. I don't care if he's mad. He needs to understand sleep is important and this secret scrolling thing freaks me out. How are other parents handling the nighttime phone sneaking? Parental controls aren't working if he just turns them off.

13 comments436 views

Comments(13)

DDanny R.RegularDec 26

lol welcome to 12yo sleep math. They're convinced they can sneak around it. Have you considered a charging station OUTSIDE the bedrooms? Game changer. No phone = no 2am scrolling.

MMarcus L.RegularDec 26

The fact that you're angry makes sense but at 12 TikTok is also just how he's wired to be. Not excusing rule-breaking but confiscating + sitting with your anger probably feels like punishment from his side. Might need a reset conversation, not just consequences.

BBob G.RegularDec 26

The 9pm rule isn't working bc he figured out you're asleep by 2am. You need either a router-level block or a way to actually monitor compliance. Phone confiscation is good but it's reactive.

LLeo R.New DadDec 28

Real question—what's he actually looking at on TikTok at 2am? If it's just memes that's one thing, if he's deep in some weird rabbit hole that's different. Either way the phone-in-bedroom is the issue.

KKenny W.RegularDec 26

This is the age where they start outsmarting your rules. The phone downstairs rule is good but they will find ways around it. You might need a family conversation about why you care (sleep, not moral panic about apps) so he understands the actual issue.

BBrad N.RegularDec 27

My 11yo pulled the same thing. Turns out he was avoiding sleep because of anxiety about school. The phone thing was a symptom not the problem. Might be worth checking in on what's actually going on with him.

PPhil C.RegularDec 26

to the anxiety comment—how did you address it once you figured that out? My kid doesn't seem anxious but I'm definitely missing stuff.

CCliff B.RegularDec 28

Talked to his teacher, found out he was getting bullied a bit. Once we handled the actual issue the 2am scrolling stopped pretty naturally. The phone was just a distraction from feeling like shit.

EEli L.RegularDec 27

How long are you taking it away? This is important—if it's just a few days he knows you'll give it back and the behavior comes right back. Needs actual consequence teeth.

RRob K.RegularDec 28

The 2am scroll is more of a sign he's anxious or bored than him being bad. Still need consequences obviously but might be worth asking WHY he's doing it at 2am instead of just confiscating.

CCarl D.RegularDec 28

Confiscating is the right move but you gotta address WHY he's doing 2am TikTok. Is he anxious? Is something going on? The phone's the symptom, not the problem.

MMatt W.RegularDec 28

I had to go full nuclear—got one of those locking pouches that only opens at a set time. Sounds harsh but it eliminated the sneaking and my kid actually sleeps now. Might be overkill but if the sneaking gets worse it works.

JJoe C.RegularDec 28

Confiscating was the right move but phones downstairs rule clearly isn't working if he snuck it back up. Does he have his own phone or was he using someone else's? If it's his own might be time to renegotiate terms or lose it for longer.