My 13yo wants to use Discord for gaming. I don't really understand it beyond "it's like Skype but for gamers." Is it actually risky or am I being paranoid? He's pretty sensible about online stuff but I also know that age group can make dumb decisions. What should I actually know about Discord as a parent?
Set up parental controls through Discord's settings. You can't monitor everything but you can restrict some features. Also disable DMs from people he doesn't know - that's the biggest thing honestly.
Screen his friend list and the servers he joins. Don't need to be creepy about it but "sensible 13yos" make dumb decisions around people who are being nice to them online. That's the actual risk - grooming/manipulation, not some random technical thing about Discord.
Is he into specific games? Because that matters. If it's like a tight squad doing Valorant together that's different than joining random Fortnite servers where people are... well, weird.
The paranoia is warranted but manageable. Think of it like letting him go to a mall - yeah there are sketchy people, but he's not alone and you've talked about it. Same with Discord.
You're not being paranoid but Discord itself isn't inherently risky - it's more about supervision and his understanding of online safety. The real issues: stranger danger in public servers, voice chat with randos, and people using it for sketchy stuff. Best practice is let him use it but pick private servers with people you know or trust, set it so only friends can DM him.
Honestly you sound like you have the right mindset about it. Just talk to him openly about not adding randoms and what appropriate conversations look like. 13yos appreciate that more than you'd think.
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My son uses it for Minecraft with his actual school friends and it's been fine. But I found he'd accidentally joined some random gaming server and there were some... not great conversations happening. Told him Discord's great for friend groups, not for meeting randos. He actually got it after I explained it.