First phone decision - what age makes sense?

Dec 161 min read

My daughter turns 11 next month and she's asking for a phone. I've been thinking maybe 12 or 13 but now I'm wondering if I should just do it. She's walking to school, has after-school activities, and it would be useful for me to reach her. Plus apparently a lot of kids in her grade have them. I don't want to be the parent with the ancient rules but I also want to protect her from stuff. Anyone let their kid get a phone at 11? Any regrets? Also any decent starter phones that aren't full-featured smartphones?

10 comments44 views

Comments(10)

SScott W.RegularDec 17

lol the "after-school activities" detail is key though. if shes got structured stuff and you need to pick her up, a phone makes actual sense. my son was 11 when we bit the bullet for similar reasons

MMatt W.RegularDec 17

At 11 she's probably more responsible than most kids her age if she's walking to school already. The real question is whether she actually needs it or just wants it because friends have one. My daughter got hers at 12 and honestly the novelty wore off in like a month.

CChris N.RegularDec 17

what kind of phone are you thinking? we went with a used iPhone and set up screen time limits. way cheaper than new and easier to enforce rules on

AAl G.RegularDec 17

We did 12 for our oldest and honestly wish we'd waited til 13. They're just not emotionally ready at 11-12 to handle the social media stuff that comes with it. The phone itself is fine but the Instagram/TikTok part is where it gets messy.

JJake M.RegularDec 18

Honestly since she's walking to school and has after-school stuff, give her a basic phone that calls and texts but not a smartphone with data. That's what we're doing with our 10yo. Gets her the safety part without the Instagram trap. Can upgrade to smartphone at 13 if she proves responsible.

WWade G.RegularDec 18

We did 12 for our oldest and kinda wish we'd waited. She was immediately on it 24/7. The walking/activities thing changes the calculus though. You're not doing it for TikTok, you're doing it for logistics.

RRob K.RegularDec 19

lol the "she's asking now" is never the same as "she'll keep asking next year." Definitely see if the interest level stays consistent

GGreg W.RegularDec 18

The activities angle makes sense but have you considered just getting her a basic flip phone or one of those Gizmo watches? Seriously, my 10yo has a Gizmo Watch and we can track her AND she can call/text us. Buys you like 2 more years before the real smartphone.

BBen D.RegularDec 18

11 is honestly reasonable if she's already doing the after-school activities and walking solo. The safety factor is real - you can track her, she can call if she's stuck somewhere. Just maybe wait till after her bday to see if the ask is still there or if it's just birthday excitement

MMarvin T.RegularDec 19

The real question isn't the age, it's what kind of phone and what rules you're actually gonna enforce. We set screen time limits and our kid tested them for like 3 weeks then gave up. Having a plan matters way more than waiting another year.