Found my 12yo in a discord server I didn't know about

Jun 251 min read

So I was checking his computer because his grades dropped last semester and I found he's been in like 5 discord servers with people he doesn't even go to school with. Some of them are gaming related but one is just random strangers talking about who knows what. We had the talk about internet safety but clearly it didn't stick. Now I'm paranoid about what else is going on that I don't know about. Thinking about putting some parental controls back on his computer even though he's gonna hate it. How are other parents handling this stuff?

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Comments(6)

KKyle M.RegularJun 26

The grades dropping and the hidden Discord are connected probably. I'd approach this as a conversation not an interrogation if you can. He's old enough to explain why he joined and what he's doing there.

SScottRegularJun 25

This is scary territory. Discord can be really hit or miss for kids that age. Some servers are fine, others are not great. How deep were you able to look into what he's actually doing on there?

SScottRegularJun 25

This one is tricky because you found something he was hiding but his grades also dropped which is a legitimate concern. You gotta talk to him about both things. What kind of server is it?

MMikeRegularJun 25

Finding a Discord you didn't know about is definitely worth having a conversation about, especially if grades are already slipping. Discord isn't bad but you gotta know what communities he's in. Some servers are sketchy.

JJayson H.New DadJun 26

The grades drop is the real issue here, not necessarily the Discord itself. That's your opening for a conversation. Ask him about it without being accusatory. He's 12, privacy matters to him but so does your involvement.

MMikeRegularJun 27

Don't panic about Discord existing. Just figure out who he's talking to and what kind of server it is. Gaming? Friends from school? That matters. Have the talk but frame it as curiosity not accusation.