So I walked in his room without knocking and caught him on his laptop looking at some inappropriate content. I froze, he froze, then I just closed the door and left. Don't even know how to handle this conversation. Do I ground him? Have the talk? I'm totally lost here. He's got parental controls but obviously not good enough. Other dads dealing with this how are you handling it?
That's a tough moment but closing the door and coming back to talk is actually the right move. Have the conversation when you're both calm and remember he's figuring things out.
Don't panic about this. He's 12 and curious, that's normal. How you handle the conversation matters way more than what you caught him doing. You got this.
Awkward situation but it's actually an opening. He's at the age where he's curious which is totally normal. I wouldn't make him feel ashamed but definitely set boundaries. Maybe get him some actual sex education books too so it's not just internet weirdness.
This is the conversation you have to have even though it sucks. I'd have a calm talk about what he saw and why he's curious, not just shut it down. 12 year olds are gonna find this stuff anyway but you can set expectations about healthy vs unhealthy exploration.
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The knocking thing was probably a blessing in disguise. Better you caught it than him thinking this is something he has to hide forever. Have the conversation, set the rules, and move on. It gets easier.