So my wife noticed our son has a finsta with like 200 followers and he's posting stuff he'd never show us. Nothing illegal or super crazy but definitely more mature than what he shows at home. Do we confront him about it or let him have his privacy? He's a good kid overall, good grades, not getting in trouble. Just feels weird that I don't know what he's doing online.
The finsta thing is tricky. He's testing boundaries and trying to have a space that's his own which is normal at 14. I'd talk to him about it from a place of curiosity rather than accusation. Ask him what he posts about instead of scrolling through it.
The second account thing used to be a diary locked in a box under the bed. Same concept but scarier because of how many people can see it. Trust your instincts but also remember he needs some autonomy.
This is the digital parenting dance right now. Two teenagers here and we've had similar moments. Try to stay calm and remember he's just figuring out his own identity, same as we did before Instagram existed.
Yeah, the finsta thing is tricky. My kids are still younger but I've been reading about this a lot. The key is staying curious and not going full parent cop mode. Might be worth just asking him about it.
This is the stuff that keeps me up at night thinking about my kids growing up. Did you confront him about it or are you still figuring out how to handle it? The internet parenting thing is so different from what we grew up with.
Kids have always wanted private spaces but now it's digital and way more complicated. My take is figure out what actually concerns you about it before you blow it up. Is it safety? Is it that he's a different person online?
Finding out about the second account is rough. I get why teens do it but it also shows he felt like he couldn't be himself on the main account with you following. Might be a good time to ask what he wanted to share that he felt he couldn't.
This is the digital parenting nightmare right here. He's 14 so some level of private life is developmentally normal, but a whole secret account with 200 followers is worth understanding. What kind of stuff is he posting? That matters for the conversation you need to have.
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The finsta situation is a different beast. That's where they feel safe being themselves away from parent judgment, which honestly makes sense developmentally but also means he's got stuff he's not comfortable with you seeing. That's a conversation about trust.