Got my 13 year old a phone and already regretting it

May 11 min read

He begged for a phone all last year and we finally caved on his 13th birthday. Thought it would help with communication and staying in touch. First week in and he's on it constantly, barely eating dinner, staying up until midnight texting friends. I tried setting screen time limits but he keeps asking me to increase them. He's snapping and moody when I take it away. The whole vibe of the house has changed. I'm wondering if I should just take it back but he'll hate me for it. Any parents deal with this? Does it get better or did I just create a monster?

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Comments(7)

AAlexRegularMay 2

Yeah this is the age where it gets tricky. They want independence but they're not ready for it. My advice would be to have a clear conversation about expectations before he uses it too much. Once they're in the habit of unrestricted access it's way harder to pull back.

KKevinRegularMay 2

How much screen time are you letting him have? That's the real battle for us. We went with the phone too but locked it down hard with parental controls first. Saved us a lot of headaches.

SSteveRegularMay 2

The regret is real. Just remember you can always take it back if he abuses the privilege. Don't beat yourself up though, at 13 most kids have phones anyway. Just stay involved and know what he's doing.

RRonRegularMay 2

Dude I feel this in my soul. We gave our oldest a phone at 12 and it was like opening Pandora's box. The notifications alone drove me crazy. What part is making you regret it most?

EEvan M.New DadMay 1

Man I feel this. Got my oldest a phone at 13 too and the first week I was checking it constantly wondering what he was getting into. The begging is one thing but the actual responsibility of monitoring it is a whole different beast. Have you set up any parental controls yet or are you still figuring out your approach?

MMarcusNew DadMay 1

My son is 9 and I'm already dreading this conversation. What's the biggest issue you're running into? TikTok? Gaming? Just trying to learn from others before we get there.

KKevinRegularMay 1

At 13 they kind of need one for school coordination honestly. The key is setting boundaries upfront before he thinks it's unlimited. We use Apple Family and it's been a lifesaver for us.