His mom thinks he should get one for safety and staying in touch. I'm worried about social media, inappropriate content, and just general dependency. We compromised on a basic phone with limited features but honestly I'm second-guessing it. He's already asking about Instagram. What age did you guys think was reasonable for a real smartphone?
Social media is the real worry here, not the phone itself. You could get him one with parental controls and just be clear about what apps are allowed. Lots of parents do it successfully at that age.
The safety angle is legit - being able to reach him is important. But maybe start with something basic and upgrade when he shows he can handle it responsibly. Don't have to go full smartphone right away.
We went with a phone at 13 but basically locked it down tight. Controlled which apps, screen time limits, all of it. He can text and call but TikTok and Instagram aren't happening. Compromise that worked for us.
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Not crazy at all but 12 might be a bit early. My oldest got one at 14 and it was still a lot to manage. The safety argument is real though. Maybe a more basic phone for staying in touch?