Just had to delete BeReal off my phone and I feel petty about it

Dec 271 min read

My 13yo got BeReal last month and it seemed harmless enough - these notifications at random times asking you to take a 2-second photo. Sounds dumb. But then I noticed she was getting ANXIOUS about missing the window or not looking good enough in her photo. She literally asked me to not embarrass her during the notification window. Then I was like wait... why am I letting an app stress out my teenager, so I told her we'd delete it. She thinks I'm insane but honestly the social anxiety it was creating seemed worse than the screen time issue. Anyone else deal with this?

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Comments(11)

HHank L.RegularDec 27

Not petty at all. BeReal's whole gimmick is FOMO - the random notification times are designed to create urgency and anxiety. My 14yo was doing the same thing, getting stressed if she missed the 2-minute window. We deleted it too and she immediately seemed more relaxed.

TTim B.RegularDec 27

The anxiety thing is the worst part. My niece was the same way - kept checking her phone to make sure she didn't miss the notification. It's supposed to be casual but the algorithm makes it feel urgent. Good call deleting it

VVic G.RegularDec 28

My daughter literally cried when I suggested we delete BeReal. She said all her friends had it and she'd be "out of the loop." Two weeks after deleting? She never mentions it. Turns out being out of the loop on a stress app is actually fine.

EEd P.RegularDec 27

The anxiety thing is the whole point though isn't it? That's literally how they keep engagement. She's stressed about being "authentic" and "real" which is hilarious because she's stressed about a photo app. You made the right call.

MMarvin T.RegularDec 29

Honestly I get why you felt petty but you shouldn't. These apps know exactly what they're doing with notification timing and social pressure. It's not like she wanted to delete it - the app created artificial urgency. That's the opposite of her being in control.

KKevin P.RegularDec 27

You're not being petty at all. BeReal is literally designed to create FOMO and anxiety - that's the whole app. The fact that you recognized your 13yo was getting stressed about 'missing' a 2-second photo and deleted it is solid parenting, not petty

WWalter T.RegularDec 29

honestly the fact that she was getting anxious about missing notifications for an app designed to be 'low pressure' shows how these apps actually work despite what they claim. Not petty at all - you're protecting her mental health

HHenry M.RegularDec 27

The petty feeling is interesting though - I think it's because we're told these apps are harmless and free so if we're bothered by it, WE'RE the problem. But you're not petty, you're observant. An app that makes your kid anxious isn't harmless.

WWyatt C.RegularDec 27

Nah not petty. That app's whole thing is 'authentic candid photos' but it creates this weird anxiety loop where kids feel like they need to respond immediately. Sounds dumb but it's exactly the kind of thing that messes with young teens. You did the right thing

EEd P.RegularDec 29

lol at BeReal being 'harmless.' Any app with notifications designed to create urgency around capturing moments is inherently stressful. Your 13yo doesn't need that. She'll tell her friends she deleted it and honestly a bunch of them probably want to too but don't want to be the first

CCarl D.RegularDec 29

BeReal is one of those apps that sounds chill until you realize it's gamifying everyday moments and making kids stressed about 'authenticity.' Your daughter will be fine without it. Plenty of other ways to connect that don't create that pressure