Got my 14 year old a phone for emergencies and now he's on it every second. At dinner, doing homework, before bed. I tried parental controls but he's smarter than I am with tech. Don't want to be the bad guy but also can't let him be glued to a screen 24/7. What apps or strategies actually work? Other dads dealing with teenagers, help me out.
The parental controls arms race never works with teens. I've found it works better to get them invested in the limits themselves. My boys are way more likely to follow rules they helped create.
This is a battle a lot of us are fighting. The homework and dinner stuff are the real concerns - maybe focus there first instead of total control? Some kids need their phone time but need boundaries around responsibilities.
At 14 he's going to fight any control you put on it. Better approach might be making a deal together - like phone stays off during dinner and homework, and you stick to it too. Shows respect works both ways.
This is exactly the problem we're about to have. Our oldest is getting a phone soon and I'm already anxious about it. Did you try parental controls first or did you go straight to the hard rules approach?
At 14 he's not going to respond well to controls anyway so might as well set clear expectations upfront. We told ours the phone is a privilege that comes with responsibilities. No phone during homework or meals non negotiable. He tested it once and lost it for a week.
The phone for emergencies thing never works out how you plan it does it. One day it's only for calling you, the next day it's a full social life. We had to be way more strict - literally set it up so he can only call certain numbers and everything else is locked. He hated it at first but adapted.
This is such a tricky age. They need the phone but they also don't have the impulse control yet to use it responsibly. We use an app that limits data use by the hour and cuts him off completely after 9pm. Not perfect but it helps.
At dinner phone goes in a basket by the door. No exceptions. At first my 14 year old acted like I was torturing him but now he actually doesn't reach for it as much during the day. Having a hard rule actually helps because he can't negotiate it.
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14 is tough because they actually need it for social stuff now but yeah the boundaries have to be iron clad. We do no phones at meals period. And we have a charging station outside the bedrooms at night. Took a month of battles but he adjusted.