My 11yo has been chatting with randoms on Roblox - HELP

Dec 271 min read

Not gonna lie, found out this week my daughter has been messaging people she doesn't know on Roblox. My stomach dropped. I had NO IDEA this was even possible since I thought Roblox had parental controls. Turns out I didn't set them up right. She's 11 and honestly pretty innocent about this stuff - she was just "making friends" and sharing her avatar. Nothing seemed inappropriate from what I could see but I'm freaking out a bit. What did you guys do when you discovered this? How do I talk to her about this without making her feel like I'm spying or like she's in trouble?

12 comments47 views

Comments(12)

JJamal W.RegularDec 28

Roblox chat filter is bad. Like genuinely bad. People get around it constantly. This is one of those situations where you can't rely on the platform and just have to monitor and educate. Sorry this sucks but you're handling it right by being aware

RReggie T.New DadDec 27

Yeah Roblox's parental controls are basically theater. I went through the same thing with my son - turned on "4+ friends only" and he still found ways around it. The real issue is the game literally requires social interaction to progress so they're incentivized to talk to randoms. Have you checked her chat history yet or is that the next step?

WWill S.RegularDec 27

The fact that you found this is good parenting not helicopter parenting. 11 is still young enough that they need guidance on this stuff. Recommend actually going through Roblox safety settings together with her so she understands WHY not just that you said so

VVic G.RegularDec 28

This happened with us last year. What we did: sat her down and explained why we were concerned (not in a scary way, just factual), showed her how predators actually operate, and established that she could tell us stuff without getting in trouble. The openness ended up being more important than the bans

OOscar D.New DadDec 27

Check the actual conversation history if you can. I know that sucks but you need to know what was discussed. If it's just 'wanna be friends' stuff it's different than if someone was asking questions. Also lock down her account settings ASAP

SSam Y.RegularDec 29

Have you looked at Roblox Studio's recent changes? They actually added some new parental controls last quarter but nobody uses them because they're buried. Go to settings > privacy and look for "Contact Settings" - you can limit it to friends only and it's way more restrictive than the default.

PPete L.RegularDec 27

This happened to us too. What helped: I sat down with my kid (didn't yell, just explained predator tactics) and we went through her contacts together. Deleted like 15 people she'd never met IRL. Then I set it so I get notifications of her friend requests. She hated it but honestly at 11 that's the trade-off.

BBob G.RegularDec 29

The hardest part isn't even the chatting imo, it's that they don't understand CONTEXT. Like my daughter would share her school name, that she walks home alone certain days... I had to explain that people could use that info. She got it but it took actual conversations, not just blocking features.

MMatt W.RegularDec 27

lol stomach drop is real. Mine's 10 and I found out he was trading Robux with some dude he met last week. I honestly didn't even know that was a thing. Def recommend going through those settings ASAP - there are some hidden ones that aren't obvious.

VVince R.RegularDec 27

The stomach drop feeling is real and valid. But before you panic - most kids chatting with randoms are just... other kids. Still not great they didn't tell you, but it's not automatically predatory situation. That said, controls + open conversation is the move

FFrank D.RegularDec 28

Oh no this is legitimately concerning and I'm glad you caught it. Roblox parental controls are kinda a joke honestly - they give you an illusion of safety but kids find workarounds constantly. Definitely need to have the 'don't talk to randoms' convo regardless of settings

DDale J.RegularDec 29

this is scary but also like... how else was she gonna learn about internet safety? At least you caught it before anything weird happened. Use this as the teaching moment it is. And yeah look at restricting who can message her in settings