She's 12. All her friends apparently have it. I said no without even thinking about it. Now I feel bad because maybe I'm just being an out-of-touch dad? I genuinely don't understand the appeal. Is TikTok actually dangerous or am I being paranoid? Do any of you let your kids use it with restrictions or are you hard no?
lol the appeal is literally just that all her friends are on it. That's it. That's the whole thing. But yeah the algorithm is designed to be addictive so your panic makes sense tbh.
The panic is normal but yeah, a hard no without talking about it might backfire. At 12 she's gonna want some independence. Maybe compromise - limited time, parental controls on, you follow her account? That way you're not the strict dad who said no, you're the dad who said yes but smart about it.
The panicking part is totally normal but honestly the fact that you're second-guessing yourself means you're thinking about it more than most dads would. That's not out-of-touch, that's responsible. 12 is legitimately young for TikTok's algorithm rabbit holes.
I went the opposite direction - let my 13yo have it with parental controls. Now I actually see what she's watching and we talk about it instead of her hiding it. The appeal is basically: short funny videos, community around interests, trends with friends. It's not that deep but it IS engineered to be addictive so your caution makes sense.
You panicked because you don't understand it, which is actually MORE cautious than out-of-touch. Out-of-touch would be saying yes without knowing anything. Have an actual conversation with her about WHY she wants it. That'll tell you more than whether it's "ok" or not.
lol the "all her friends have it" thing is real though. I checked and like 3 out of 20 kids in my daughter's class actually use it regularly. Kids exaggerate. But also... TikTok's algorithm is legitimately designed to be addictive. Your instinct wasn't totally wrong.
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Maybe don't say no forever? Could you set up like a supervised account where you follow her or something? My 13yo has it but I made her show me what she's actually watching. Turns out it's mostly dance vids and art stuff, not the dark corners I was imagining.
Not out of touch at all. I let my kid get it at 12 and spent the next 6 months watching her screen time spike and her attention span crater. Doesn't mean you have to say no forever but a delayed yes is better than jumping in.