My 12 year old wants to play Fortnite constantly. When he can't play he's irritable and asks about it nonstop. I set limits but he sneaks his Switch when he thinks I'm not looking. Started hiding the controllers which feels ridiculous but nothing else works. Is this normal? Should I be more strict or am I overreacting? How do you guys handle the gaming thing?
This is tough. At 12, the brain is wired to seek dopamine hits and Fortnite is basically designed to give them constantly. We started setting hard limits with our son - specific hours only, and when he hits that limit it's done for the day. First week was brutal with the irritability but it does get better. The key is being consistent.
The sneaking the Switch thing is tough - I'd try finding what he actually enjoys about Fortnite and see if you can replicate that elsewhere. With my daughter we started doing puzzles together and it became our thing, no phones in sight.
12 is a hard age for this stuff. Have you tried setting specific gaming windows and actually doing something together during those off times? Makes the limit feel less like punishment if he knows what's coming instead.
The irritability piece is real addiction behavior honestly. My kid does the same thing when screen time ends. Might be worth a conversation with his pediatrician about it - they can help you figure out if it's just typical kid stuff or something more serious.
The irritability when he can't play is the red flag. That's addiction territory. We had to cut our oldest off completely for a month just to break the cycle and honestly it was worth the grief he gave us.
So my kid loves games too and what finally worked was letting him earn time instead of just limiting it. Like if he does his chores or reads a book he gets 30 minutes. Made it his choice instead of a punishment which helped way more than me just saying no all the time.
12 is the Fortnite age isn't it? Every parent I know is dealing with this. The game is literally designed to keep them playing so you're not crazy for seeing it as a problem. We set time limits on our oldest and it was rough at first but he eventually adapted.
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Have you tried getting him into something else competitive that gives him that same rush? My 13 year old was the same way until we got him into basketball at the Y. Still plays games but it's way more balanced now because he has another outlet.