Parental controls that actually work without being a jerk about it

Been using Apple Screen Time + some additional filters and honestly it's been the least confrontational way to manage things with my 13yo. The key for us was involving her in SETTING the limits rather than me just imposing them. She picked 2 hours on weekends, 45 min on school nights, and I swear she respects those boundaries better than anything I've forced. We review it monthly. It's not perfect but it doesn't feel like I'm sneaking around spying on her either, which feels important at this age.