Screen time limits backfiring - kids sneaking devices

Nov 231 min read

So I set a hard limit of 1 hour on weekdays for my 8yo and 10yo, right? Thought I was being the cool strict parent. Found my son hiding in the closet with an iPad last night watching YouTube at 11pm. My daughter's been asking to go to friends' houses way more often than usual - I'm pretty sure she's just going over there to use their tablets. Anyone else deal with this? Feel like the restrictions are just making them sneakier instead of less interested.

11 comments198 views

Comments(11)

MMarcus W.Regular12h ago

Your daughter asking to go to friends' houses more is the tell that she's frustrated. She's not stupid - she figured out the workaround (go somewhere else to use devices). That's actually pretty clever problem-solving, just directed at defeating your rules lol.

WWalter T.Regularjust now

The sneaking thing means your limit hit a resistance point. Kids this age need to understand WHY the limits exist, not just obey them. Have you talked through like 'screens all day makes brains fuzzy' or just been 'no, that's the rule'?

CCarl S.Regular21h ago

The cool strict parent thing cracks me up because the strict part was working until the cool part wore off. Now you're just the parent with the rule they're actively evading.

KKent R.Regular22h ago

The closet iPad situation is wild lol. But real talk - kids this age are gonna work around restrictions if they care enough. Better to maybe involve them in setting limits that feel more fair to them? Like ask what they think is reasonable instead of it being something imposed that they have to fight.

AAllen K.Regularjust now

Honestly? An hour might be too restrictive. My 9yo and 11yo get like 2 hours on school nights and they're not sneaking devices. They're finding that balance themselves because it doesn't feel forbidden. The closet situation screams 'this feels impossible so I'm going rogue'

CClint R.Regular14h ago

Found my 9yo doing something similar. Turns out 1 hour just wasn't enough for what she actually wanted to do. We bumped it to 1.5 hours on weekdays and magically the sneaking stopped. Could be the same situation?

FFrank T.Regularjust now

One hour on weekdays is actually pretty strict for 8 and 10 year olds tbh. Your daughter asking to go to friends' houses more - is she using data there or just trying to escape? That might be the real issue.

PPete Y.Regularjust now

Okay so the sneaking devices thing means your limit is actually stricter than they can accept. 1 hour on weekdays is pretty tight - they're literally breaking rules to get more. Not saying you're wrong for setting limits, but the fact that they're hiding and lying suggests the pushback is pretty intense.

JJamal W.Regularjust now

This is the hard part about screen limits - kids will find ways around them if they're motivated enough. Maybe instead of fighting it, involve them in problem-solving? Like 'I see you're sneaking screens, so clearly 1 hour isn't working. What would feel fair to you?' Open conversation sometimes works better than enforcement.

MMark A.Regularjust now

The closet with iPad at 11pm is PEAK desperation lmao. That's not a screen time problem that's a 'kid found something more interesting than whatever else is going on' problem. What were they watching that was worth hiding for?

WWade T.New Dadjust now

You need to actually dig into what's happening at friends' houses. Is she doing homework? Gaming? Social stuff? Because if you shut down screens at home and she's getting them elsewhere that's... kind of the definition of backfiring