Screen time war with 7yo - am I being too strict?

Dec 171 min read

So my son's been asking for more iPad time after school and I've been saying no because he already gets 30 mins in the morning before school. My wife thinks I'm being harsh and that 1.5-2 hours total isn't that bad "compared to what other kids get." But like... he's got homework, sports 3x a week, and barely wants to go outside anymore. When I suggest the park he acts like I'm torturing him. Is there a middle ground here or am I right to hold the line? He's 7, btw.

12 comments427 views

Comments(12)

DDanny R.RegularDec 18

30 mins + 1.5-2 hours is pretty different. 2 hours is basically 'keeping him occupied after school' territory. But also what's he doing on iPad vs what would he do instead? That matters.

OOwen F.RegularDec 18

The compromise approach: let him choose between iPad time or something else he wants equally. Gives him autonomy without just saying yes. My 7yo realized pretty quick that he'd rather do other stuff when it's actually a choice.

MMatt D.RegularDec 19

30 mins morning + 1.5-2 hours after is a pretty big jump. That's basically 2+ hours a day. What's he actually doing on it? If it's videos vs games vs learning app, that context matters for how strict to be.

HHenry M.RegularDec 20

You're not being too strict but 1.5-2 hours total is generous. We do 30 mins after school, done by 4:30pm. Anything after that and bedtime suffers. The timing matters as much as the amount.

TTodd N.RegularDec 19

Honestly your wife might have a point but not for the reason she thinks. If he's already done 30 mins of screen in the morning, his brain is already taxed. One longer session after school might be better than no boundaries. But 2 hours is still a lot for a 7yo.

TTim B.RegularDec 19

I'd land somewhere between you two. 30 mins morning is fine, but after a full school day of screen exposure at school (smartboards, maybe computer lab), another 1.5-2 hours is a lot. Maybe compromise at 45 mins and see how he does?

WWill R.RegularDec 19

Maybe compromise: yes to more screen time but only AFTER he does something active for 30 mins? Snack, outside, lego, whatever. Makes the iPad something he earns instead of the default.

RRandy S.RegularDec 20

I'd go with your wife on this one. 7yo getting 2 hours total isn't wild and after school screen time is pretty standard now. The morning limit makes sense, but total budget might be ok.

DDale A.RegularDec 19

That's the real issue then. 2 hours is fine IF it's earned or planned. But if it's just 'here's the iPad because you're home' that's different. Your instinct is probably right - this is about habits, not just time limits.

DDwayne S.RegularDec 20

to the addiction question - he definitely asks immediately after school now where he used to just play. that's a flag to me that it's become the default

AAl G.RegularDec 20

We let ours have 1.5 hours on school days, anything goes on weekends within reason. But that's because we have backup plans - sports, friend time, etc. What's your kid doing instead of iPad?

MMatt J.RegularDec 20

The real question is whether he's asking because he's bored or because he's addicted. If it's boredom, more iPad is lazy parenting. If he legitimately wants screen time, 2 hours total isn't that strict.