Son's First Phone at 12 - Parental Controls Recommendations?

2d ago1 min read

My 12 year old is now old enough that all his friends have phones and he was basically the only one without one. We got him an iPhone and set it up with Screen Time limits and I'm on his account. He can't download apps without approval, location sharing is on, I set up downtime from 9pm to 8am. He's not allowed in his room with it, it lives in the kitchen mostly. Some of my buddies said I'm tracking him too much but honestly these kids are on the internet and I want to know what's happening. He's annoyed but understands. Anyone else doing this? Should I be adjusting anything?

7 comments149 views

Comments(7)

TTony M.New Dad1d ago

Being the only one without a phone is rough socially so I get why you're doing this. Just make sure whatever controls you set up aren't so strict that he feels like he's being spied on constantly. There's a balance between safety and trust.

VVincentRegular1d ago

Google Family Link is solid and free if budget is a concern. It's not perfect but it does the job - app blocking, screen time, location. And your kid can still text and call you. That's what matters at 12 anyway.

EEdRegular2d ago

The peer pressure part is real but don't let that rush you. We held off until 13 with our first and honestly it was fine. The kids complain for like two weeks then forget about it. Build that phone when YOU feel ready, not when their friends have one.

RRyanRegular2d ago

Just be prepared for the 'everyone else's parents trust them' argument. Our response was always 'I trust you AND I'm your parent so this is what happens.' The controls aren't about trust, they're about safety. Clear distinction helped our 12yo get it.

RRyanRegular2d ago

We just went through this with our oldest. I really recommend Bark - it monitors texts, social media, everything without being super invasive. You can set screen time limits too. We were upfront about it, told him why, and honestly he's been cool with it.

NNate B.Regular1d ago

Good call giving him a phone. I actually use Apple's built-in parental controls since my 12 year old got his last year. You can limit app usage, set downtime hours, and control what apps he can even download. Game changer because he can't just delete them or find workarounds. Worth diving into the settings.

MMike R.Regular1d ago

My oldest just turned that age too. I set up screen time limits through our family plan and honestly it's been way less of a battle than I expected. The key is sitting down and explaining why you're doing it before you implement it. Make it about safety not punishment.