The hardest part about tech limits is the FOMO conversation | DadHQ

The hardest part about tech limits is the FOMO conversation

Jan 61 min read

My 11yo keeps saying all his friends are on Discord and TikTok and that he's literally the ONLY one who isn't. I know this isn't actually true but also... I get the anxiety. It IS where kids are socializing now. We compromised with Snapchat (which I don't love but seems slightly less algorithmic?) but he's still frustrated. Anyone figured out how to help them feel less left out without just caving to everything? This is harder than I expected.

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Comments(5)

JJoshua K.New DadJan 6

Yeah my 10yo pulled the 'everyone has it' card last month about Discord. I told him maybe everyone in his friend group but definitely not literally everyone and suggested he talk to his friends about what they actually do on there. Turns out it's mostly just them messing around and half the time no one's even talking.

PPedroRegularJan 8

Have you thought about letting him join but with parental controls on? I know that sounds like a middle ground cop out but it let my daughter still hang with her friends without me completely shutting it down. They all kind of roll their eyes at it but whatever.

TTyler R.New DadJan 6

The hardest part for me was not being the fun parent vs the safety parent. Like I get that he feels left out but Discord has some genuinely sketchy stuff and I'm not comfortable with it yet no matter what his friends are doing.

KKevinRegularJan 7

The FOMO conversation is genuinely exhausting because it's not completely irrational right? Like he legitimately might be the only one without it in his friend group. But that doesn't mean I have to let him on it anyway.

LLarry P.RegularJan 7

This is hitting me hard right now. My 12yo is pushing for TikTok and keeps showing me videos 'all the kids' are making. I know I'm being the old guy here but the algorithm on that app scares me more than anything else.