She's had TikTok for like 3 months and I barely understand what she's doing on there. She's not showing me the "bad stuff" obviously. I try to ask but she just rolls her eyes.
I've seen some scary stuff about predators and algorithm addiction. Do I need to go full monitoring mode or am I being paranoid? She seems happy and her grades are fine but I have no idea who she's interacting with.
Start with TikTok literacy before you start restricting. Ask her to teach you something trending on her FYP instead of interrogating. Less adversarial and you'll actually see what you're dealing with.
Gonna be real: at 13 she's probably seeing more thirst traps and weird stuff than you think, but also she's scrolling past 100 normal videos to get there. The algorithm is wild. I'd honestly just set screen time limits and check in monthly instead of trying to understand the app
Have you tried asking her to show you her favorite creator instead of 'what are you watching?' Frame it as genuine interest in what she likes, not surveillance. 13yos can smell that a mile away
The scary stuff is real though. I'm not dismissing this—there IS some dark content that targets teens hard. But it's not gonna help with the eye roll if you lead with that. Start from curiosity, not fear.
lol the eye roll gets old real fast but it's normal. My 13yo turned a corner when I admitted I didn't get TikTok instead of pretending I did. She actually started explaining her FYP to me which was wild. Turns out she's mostly watching dance videos and makeup stuff, not the nightmare fuel I was imagining
The eye roll is the barrier but also the way in honestly. Ask her to show you her favorite creator and let her explain it instead of you asking questions like you're a cop. She wants to feel like her interests are valid even if you don't get them.
The eye roll when you ask is the hardest part honestly. She's not gonna show you the 'bad stuff' by definition. What helped us: I followed her (she blocked it lmao) but I also asked her to SEND me videos she finds funny instead of quizzing her about it. Changed the dynamic
My advice: download TikTok yourself and actually scroll. Not to spy on her, but so you understand what she's seeing. The algorithm is insane and knowing what's actually on there will help you have a smarter conversation than 'TikTok is scary'
The eye roll is actually age-appropriate, not a red flag. What might work: stop asking directly and instead ask about specific creators she follows. Like 'who's that person you were laughing at yesterday?' Makes it less interrogation-y
TikTok at 13 is genuinely tricky. The scary stories are real but also most kids are fine. The eye rolls happen no matter what—she's a teenager. Set boundaries (time limits, no phone in bed) and trust that you raised her to think critically
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My 13yo actually showed me a ton of stuff once I stopped asking framing questions. Literally just said 'your FYP is probably wild, what's actually on there?' and she went OFF about some creator drama. Treat her like she has taste, not like she's doing something wrong