TikTok and my 14yo daughter - where's the line?

Dec 141 min read

She's got TikTok and spends like 45 min a day on it max (that I can see). She's not posting anything crazy, mostly watching dance videos and comedy. But she's also discovered these beauty/fashion influencers and now thinks she needs to look a certain way. I can see the stuff affecting her self-image and I hate it. I could ban the app but she's already mad about other restrictions and I don't want to be the controlling parent. How are you guys handling social media at this age without turning into the enemy?

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Comments(5)

AAl G.Regularjust now

Has she talked about specific things she thinks she needs to change about herself? Because that's where I'd focus - less on the TikTok policing, more on building actual confidence. That's the real issue.

MMarvin T.Regular1d ago

45 min/day is honestly pretty reasonable. The self-image stuff though - that's the tricky part. Maybe frame it as teaching her to think critically about what she's consuming? Like 'these creators edit/filter everything' conversations?

WWade T.New Dadjust now

The dance videos are fine, comedy is fine. The beauty influencers are the ones selling her an insecurity she didn't have before. Maybe just talk to her about how that algorithm works - it's literally designed to make her feel bad so she'll buy stuff.

FFred J.Regular1d ago

The influencer thing is real. My 15yo went through the same phase with those makeup/skincare accounts. What helped was actually watching some videos WITH her and asking questions like 'do you actually want that or does she make it look cool?' Opened up conversations instead of me just saying no.

DDex J.New Dadjust now

lol good luck with that line 😅 honestly I think the fact that you're paying attention to how it's affecting her puts you ahead of most parents. A lot of dads just ignore it completely.