Unpopular opinion: some kids aren't ready for phones at 13

Dec 181 min read

Idk, I feel like everyone acts like 13 is some magic age but my 13yo is still not mature enough IMO. He forgets to eat when he's gaming, lies about screen time, and definitely can't handle social media drama responsibly. I'm keeping him phone-free for another year or two and honestly not stressed about it even though his friends all have them. Am I being overprotective or does anyone else feel like the "13 is normal" thing is just marketing by tech companies?

10 comments100 views

Comments(10)

AAaron W.RegularDec 18

The social media piece is huge though. Even if he was mature enough for texting/calls, the algorithm stuff is designed to be addictive. You're not being paranoid.

CChuck M.RegularDec 18

Your son forgetting to eat while gaming is actually pretty telling. That's not maturity thing you can really teach either—it's more about executive function that some kids just don't have yet at 13. You're reading it right.

LLarry P.RegularDec 19

lol same, my 13yo is 'mature for his age' according to everyone but dude still leaves wet towels on the bathroom floor. Not getting a phone till he can handle basic responsibility

GGreg M.RegularDec 19

Your kid forgetting to eat while gaming is the real tell that he's not ready. That's not maturity—that's impulse control he literally hasn't developed yet. Not every 13yo needs a phone at the same time.

KKevin P.RegularDec 19

lol the lying about screen time is what gets me. Like just admit it man, I'm not mad I'm just disappointed in the dishonesty part

NNate H.RegularDec 20

The social media part is the real killer though. Even kids who ARE mature enough struggle with that stuff. The algorithm is literally designed by adults to be addictive. You're not being paranoid.

PPat H.New DadDec 20

Honestly the lying about screen time is worse than the actual screen time IMO. That's the bigger issue to address first before handing him unrestricted access to anything.

JJosh E.RegularDec 21

Wait are you saying you're not giving him a phone at all or just delaying? Because if it's delayed I'd have a convo about what maturity milestones would actually need to happen first. Otherwise it just feels arbitrary to him.

SSteve C.RegularDec 20

Not unpopular at all honestly. I gave my oldest a phone at 13 and she immediately deleted her apps after 6 months because the anxiety was too much. Some kids just aren't wired for it yet and that's okay.

SSteve Q.RegularDec 18

Wait you say he forgets to eat while gaming—have you talked to his doctor? That level of hyperfocus isn't always just immaturity, could be ADHD tendencies or something worth exploring before blaming character