Unpopular opinion: some screen time rules are unrealistic

Dec 21 min read

I keep reading all these posts about 1 hour a day max or no screens on school nights and like... great for you I guess? But my kids have homework that requires computers, they use apps for school, and then they want to chill for 30 mins on TikTok or gaming. And sometimes I want them occupied while I handle dinner and my own stress.

I think the key is being intentional rather than pretending we can keep kids at zero screen time in 2024. We do outdoor time, limit social media, and try not to let devices replace sleep or exercise. But if my 13yo gets 2.5 hours of screen time on a Tuesday because of school + downtime, I'm not freaking out.

Curious if anyone else has a more realistic approach instead of the all-or-nothing stuff.

11 comments111 views

Comments(11)

CChris T.Regular1d ago

I think the people who are strict about screen time have older kids with non-digital homework or are just lying about their actual numbers lol. Most families end up somewhere in the middle.

BBob M.Regularjust now

The thing nobody wants to admit: sometimes you NEED your kids on screens so you can have 30 mins of peace. That's not bad parenting, that's survival. You're not supposed to be 'on' 24/7.

CCharlie A.New Dadjust now

This isn't unpopular though, it's just realistic. Anyone who's actually parenting knows that screen time is a tool. The people preaching "no screens ever" either have trust-fund lifestyles or are in denial.

PPaul T.Regular8h ago

Okay but there's a difference between 'school-required screen time + some chill time' and 'screens basically all day.' Your post describes the first one and that's honestly fine. Some of those strict rules do feel unrealistic.

JJoel F.Regularjust now

Yeah the 1-hour-a-day thing is unrealistic if your kid's homework is digital. That math doesn't work. You're already at 45 mins of legitimate school stuff before they even touch TikTok.

TTom E.Regularjust now

You're not wrong but I do think the TikTok algorithm is actually pretty bad for young brains? Not the screen time itself but the designed-to-be-addictive nature of it. Maybe worth thinking about alternatives for the "chill" time?

TTyler H.Regularjust now

The school-required stuff is huge though and people underestimate it. If their homework needs a computer, that's not really discretionary screen time. You're right to call that out. The issue is when it's PLUS another hour of TikTok, not instead of.

AAdam J.Regularjust now

The "sometimes I want them occupied" part is the realest thing. Parenting isn't 100% engaged attention all the time. Using screens strategically to buy yourself time isn't neglect, it's survival.

JJerome S.Regular19h ago

The 1 hour a day crowd often has either no kids or kids in specialized expensive programs that keep them busy. Reality for most working parents is way messier. Your approach seems reasonable.

SSam P.Regularjust now

Yeah the 1 hour a day rule is kind of a fantasy for most families. Homework alone can eat that up. And like, kids today are digital natives - trying to keep them off screens entirely is swimming against the current. Reasonable limits are good, but shame-based parenting about screens is excessive.

FFrank D.Regularjust now

I think the thing is balance, not rules? Like yeah they need screens for school, but 30 mins of TikTok on top of that plus other stuff adds up. But also like, sometimes you need them occupied and that's fine. You're not a bad parent.