Quick question - is Discord okay for like a 12yo? My son wants to join a server for his Minecraft stuff and I'm trying to figure out if I'm being paranoid or if there are legit concerns. Can you actually monitor what he's doing on there or is it pretty private? Not trying to spy on him but want to know what I'm signing up for
If it's his actual friend group from school doing Minecraft together that's pretty low risk. If it's a random huge server with thousands of people that's different. Context matters.
The paranoia is normal but also Discord isn't actually worse than anything else. Just set a ground rule: friends-only, no random DMs, and if anyone ever asks for personal info or to move to private chat, he tells you. Then let him live.
You can't really see the actual messages like you could with text, but most servers have moderation logs. Easier solution: just ask your son what he's talking about. Like actually talk to him about his friends and the Minecraft stuff. That works better than technical monitoring anyway.
12 is a little young but if it's specifically for Minecraft with his actual friend group, not some massive gaming server with random adults, you're probably fine. Ask to see what server he's joining, explain the "don't add random adults" rule, and call it done.
You can't really 'monitor' Discord the way you'd monitor a group text, but you CAN: see who's in the server, set account privacy settings, disable DMs from strangers. Not hovering, just boundaries.
Discord is mostly fine for that age and use case. The Minecraft server situation is probably pretty safe if it's just his friend group. The key thing: he can mute servers if people are weird, and you can ask him to show you the channels. Privacy-wise it's harder to monitor than Instagram but it's not a lawless wasteland.
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Discord is fine for 12 with some guardrails. Server-level privacy is okay but Discord has a history of predators in gaming spaces. The real question: is it a small friend group server or a random huge gaming server?
Replying to the friend group thing - yeah this. Small Minecraft server with IRL friends is basically a group chat. That's fine. Jumping into huge public gaming servers at 12 is different.