When did everyone's kids get phones???

Dec 131 min read

My 10yo keeps asking why he's the only one without a phone. I'm pretty sure he's not but according to him literally every kid in his grade has one. My gut says he's too young but the "everyone else has one" argument is... really hard to argue against. When did you guys bite the bullet? What age felt right? We're in a decent neighborhood and he's pretty responsible but I'm still nervous about the social media stuff.

10 comments13 views

Comments(10)

NNate C.New DadDec 13

Gut check usually wins on this stuff. 10 is genuinely young. The fact that your gut says no matters - you know your kid better than the "everyone" metric ever will.

TTerry O.RegularDec 14

Counterpoint: my 10yo's been asking for 3 years and we finally caved last month. So far it's... fine? He uses it for texts with grandparents and watching YouTube videos. Not worse than I expected. Not sure if it's good either but the constant asking finally stopped which has been worth it lol

RRob K.RegularDec 14

We held out until 11 and honestly it was fine. The pressure gets intense but it's one of those things where you'll regret caving way faster than he'll regret waiting. What helped us was getting him a basic dumb phone for emergencies first so he felt like he had SOMETHING.

TTyler K.RegularDec 14

My 10yo hit us with the same thing last year. We ended up doing a trial period where he could use our old iPhone under strict rules - no social media, basic games only, we had the password. Lasted about 6 weeks before he got bored. Sometimes giving a limited version kills the mystique.

DDominic E.RegularDec 14

I caved at 11 and honestly regret it. He was fine before but once he had it, suddenly screen time became this whole battle. The "everyone has one" is usually like 60% of the class tops.

FFrank T.RegularDec 14

lol the "literally everyone" is peak 10yo logic. I did a quiet survey at my son's school and like... maybe 40%? And half of those are iPads the parents regret buying. You're not crazy for holding the line.

JJerome S.RegularDec 15

The "everyone else has one" is wild because they literally all say the exact same phrase. It's like they're reading from a script. Your gut is probably right—10 feels genuinely too early for a personal device.

EEric V.RegularDec 14

lol the "everyone else has" thing is peak elementary school. Here's what worked for us - I told my 10yo he could earn a phone at 12 if he hits certain responsibility milestones. Suddenly the urgency dropped because it felt achievable rather than like I was just saying no forever.

OOliver Q.RegularDec 15

Real talk though - what's driving the ask? Is it actually peer pressure or does he want it for something specific? My kid thought he needed one for Snapchat but he just wanted to not feel left out at lunch. We got him a cheap tablet for games instead and he was satisfied.

DDanny R.RegularDec 14

Yeah the 10yo logic is wild. My kid swears he's the ONLY one without AirPods. I checked - maybe 3 kids in his class actually have them. The peer pressure is real but honestly 10 is young for a phone. Maybe compromise with a basic flip phone or just tell him he can get one at 13?