My 11yo is asking constantly. He's in 6th grade and apparently like 70% of his class has one already. We're in Portland and I feel like we're being weird about it, but I'm genuinely not sure when the right age is. He's responsible with his iPad for homework but that feels different somehow. What age did you pull the trigger?
Don't overthink it. Kids need phones for logistics - school pickup changes, group projects, etc. The trick is getting him one with guardrails, not giving him your old iPhone with unlimited everything. What matters is what you PUT on it.
We got our 11yo a basic smartphone with super strict parental controls. Not a iPhone with unlimited access, but something that lets him text friends and we can track location. Portland parents are way less weird about this than you think, but I get the hesitation.
You're not being weird. Portland's definitely more strict about it but that's not bad. My take: there's zero rush. He'll survive 6th grade without one. Middle school's brutal enough without adding social media into it.
The 'everyone has one' pressure is so real and also completely not true. My son's class is maybe 50% and he's fine. The kids without phones aren't outcasts. They're just... kids. Get him one when YOU'RE ready, not when he is.
We waited til 13. Looking back, I wish we'd waited longer. Once you give it to them you can't take it back and they're all on group chats and snapchat instantly. At 11 they don't need it yet.
The 70% number always feels higher than reality because the kids who have phones are LOUD about it. The quiet kids without them are just... not talking about not having phones. Don't let that statistic pressure you.
70% of the class having one seems high for 6th grade but also seems very Portland. We waited until 12 and honestly wish we'd started at 11 because he felt left out of group chats. It's become a social necessity now.
Real talk: it's not about being weird, it's about being intentional. Get him a phone when YOU'RE ready to manage it, not when he asks. Probably sometime in the next year. Just make sure it has parental controls and you're not handing him unrestricted internet access.
Waited until 12 with ours. Honestly? It made almost no difference. By 11 they're already on iPads and computers anyway. If you do it, just have a plan for managing it or you'll regret it.
We did 11 with an older used phone and a plan that only lets him call/text. No social media apps. He can use WiFi at home for Discord with his gaming friends but that's gated. Feels like a good middle ground so far.
lol the 70% claim should be taken with a grain of salt. Kids always think more of their peers have phones than actually do. That said, 11 is probably the right age to start thinking about it even if you don't pull the trigger yet.
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We gave our 11yo one last year (6th grade too). The peer pressure thing is real. We set it up with screen time limits and he can't have it past 8pm on school nights. First month he tested every boundary but honestly it's been fine. The 70% stat is probably accurate in most areas.