My 11yo is asking for a phone. He says all his friends have one. I genuinely don't know what the right age is anymore. I was like 15 but times are different. Some of his friends have phones at 9. Is there a consensus on this or are we all just guessing? What did you do and do you regret it?
Honestly I caved at 12 and haven't regretted it. The trick is setting boundaries upfront - we did limited screen time, no social media for a year, and he can only use it at home or for calls when out. He's 14 now and actually pretty responsible with it. The 'all his friends have one' thing is real though, he was definitely an outlier without it.
This is tough because the older he gets the more legitimate reasons he'll have for needing one (group chats for school projects, etc). But 11 is still young enough that you can probably hold the line a bit longer. Maybe compromise with a phone that lives at home?
11 feels too young to me but I know I'm old school. What does he actually need it for? If it's just because friends have one, that's the real problem to solve, not the phone. My nephew got one at 11 and was glued to it within a week. Now he's 13 and his parents regret it.
The argument that 'all his friends have one' is exactly what my kid used and it turned out like 60% of his class actually didn't have phones yet. We held out till 13. I'd push back on this one, honestly.
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We waited until high school and it felt like the right call for us. Middle school especially is brutal for comparison - kids see everything and feel like they're missing out. If you do get him one, a basic flip phone for calls only might buy you time.