11 year old asking hard questions about faith

JakeNew Dad

3w ago1 min read

My son asked me yesterday why God lets bad things happen to good people and I totally froze. I gave him some Sunday school answer but he wasn't satisfied and honestly neither was I. He's too smart for generic responses. Has anyone else dealt with this age where they want real answers? I want to build his faith on solid ground, not just tell him to have faith and move on. Looking for resources or just your experience here.

8 comments183 views

Comments(8)

MMikeRegular2w ago

Those are the questions that make you realize how much you don't have all the answers. I think the honest approach of 'I don't know but here's what I believe' might resonate more than trying to have it all figured out.

RRyanRegular2w ago

My 8yo asked me something similar last month and I completely blanked too. Ended up having a good conversation about it the next day after I had time to think. Sometimes it's ok to say you need a minute.

MMichael P.Regular3w ago

It's wild how quickly they move past the surface level stuff. I'm still figuring out how to talk about hard things with my 3-year-old, but I have a feeling this faith stuff is going to be one of those conversations that never really ends. Good luck working through it with him.

JJosh M.New Dad3w ago

Man, those questions hit different when they're older and actually thinking critically. I've been there with my oldest and honestly just being real about not having all the answers probably means more to him than a canned response. Keep talking about it.

DDerek M.New Dad3w ago

That's such a tough one. My daughter's still little but I'm dreading the day she asks stuff like this. The fact that you're thinking about giving him a better answer than the first one shows you're doing it right though.

DDaniel R.Regular3w ago

That's such a real question and it's awesome he feels safe asking you. Freezing is normal but you can go back to it. Honest answer is that theodicy is complex and even theologians don't have it figured out. Try asking him what he thinks instead of you having all the answers.

RRyanRegular2w ago

My oldest asked similar stuff at that age. I found that admitting I don't have all the answers actually strengthened his faith more. We explored it together, looked at scripture, talked about it over time. It's okay to not nail it in one conversation.

PPhil M.Regular2w ago

That's a tough one and honestly there's no perfect answer. I usually go with the line that bad things happen because we live in an imperfect world, but also that we can choose how we respond. Not sure it fully lands with an 11yo though.