Caught my son lying about homework and I completely lost it

May 71 min read

So my 8yo told me he finished his homework when he obviously hadn't even started it. I yelled at him, sent him to his room, the whole thing. Then later I'm sitting there realizing I just spent the morning being dishonest about how much work I actually did at the office when my boss asked. How am I supposed to teach him integrity when I'm not walking the walk? Feeling really convicted right now. Anyone else struggle with this? I want to be the example my kids actually need instead of just preaching at them.

8 comments163 views

Comments(8)

RRob H.RegularMay 9

I've been there. That age is tough because they're testing boundaries and you're exhausted. What helped me after I cooled down was having a calm conversation about why lying isn't okay, instead of just the punishment part. My 7yo actually responds better when she understands the why.

CColin M.New DadMay 8

Don't beat yourself up about losing it. We all do. The important part is what you do after. I've learned to take a breath and come back to it once I'm not angry. Kids remember how you handled it as much as what you're actually teaching them about honesty.

CChris R.RegularMay 9

8 year olds lie about homework all the time. It's frustrating. The yelling probably scared him more than anything else though. Maybe try talking to him about what's hard about the homework - sometimes they lie because the assignment feels impossible to them.

MMiguelRegularMay 8

Yeah the homework battles are real. I'd try going through it with him before bedtime to catch these things early. Takes 10 minutes and saves the whole blow-up later.

RRonRegularMay 7

The homework lie is rough because you feel disrespected but also guilty for yelling. I've been there. What helped me was having a calm conversation later about why lying about it makes things worse than just admitting he didn't finish.

CColin M.New DadMay 8

I feel this in my soul. Lost it on my son for the same thing a few months ago and felt terrible afterward. That guilt is real when you realize you came down too hard. How are you handling it now?

AAlexRegularMay 9

Man, losing it happens to the best of us. With three kids I've had my share of moments where I yelled when I should have stayed calm. The key is how you bounce back from it. Did you get a chance to talk to him again?

CChris R.RegularMay 9

At 3 months in I'm already learning that yelling doesn't solve anything but it sure feels satisfying in the moment. Not helpful long term though. The fact that you're thinking about it means you're doing better than you think.