Daughter wants to date an unbeliever - help

Feb 261 min read

My 16 year old just told us she wants to start dating this guy from her school. Seems like a nice kid but he's not a Christian and doesn't show any interest in faith. I know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked and I've talked to her about it but she thinks I'm being too strict and old fashioned. How do you guys handle this with your teens? I want to be firm on our values without pushing her away. We've raised her in the church her whole life and this feels like a test of everything we've taught her.

9 comments159 views

Comments(9)

BBrianRegularFeb 28

I hear you on the faith concern, but I've seen it go both ways. The real question is whether this guy is respectful and treats her well. You can talk values without making it about his family's religion.

EEdNew DadFeb 27

My advice: invite him over for dinner or something casual. Get a feel for who he actually is before you make any big declarations. Sometimes the most important conversations happen when you're not forcing them.

BBrianRegularFeb 28

This is a tough one. At 16 she's going to date someone eventually. If he seems like a nice kid maybe focus on getting to know him rather than the belief mismatch? You could have more influence that way.

JJoel F.RegularFeb 26

Man, this is tough. At 16 she's gonna have her own mind about these things, but I get why the faith part matters to your family. Maybe focus on getting to know the kid yourself before drawing a hard line?

GGreg W.RegularFeb 26

We've had similar convos with our oldest and honestly it's a balance between staying true to your values and not pushing her away. The unbeliever thing is real, but 16-year-old dating usually doesn't last long anyway.

TTravis N.RegularFeb 27

At 16 she's going to date who she wants to date. You can express your values but trying to control it usually just drives them away from you. Best thing is to stay in the conversation.

BBrandonNew DadFeb 27

How important is this to you and your wife? That's the first conversation to have with each other before you talk to her. If it's a dealbreaker you need to be united on it.

NNathanNew DadFeb 27

This is a tough one. 16 is the age where they're starting to make their own choices anyway. I'd focus on getting to know the guy rather than shutting it down based on the faith thing. That approach tends to backfire.

TTylerNew DadFeb 27

16 is tough. The faith piece makes it even trickier. We're not super religious but we still had the talk with our daughter about values. Maybe start there instead of drawing a hard line on dating?