How do I teach my kids about forgiveness when I'm struggling with it myself?

Aug 31 min read

My oldest called me out last week for holding a grudge against my brother over something stupid from years ago. He asked why I keep telling him to forgive people if I won't do it. Ouch. That hit different coming from a 9 year old. I realize my kids are watching how I handle conflict and disappointment way more than they're listening to what I say. Been trying to set things right with my brother and show them what real repentance looks like. Any of you guys dealt with this? How did you get past the pride part?

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Comments(6)

TToddRegularAug 4

Your oldest sounds pretty wise honestly. I think kids respect parents more when they see them actually trying to do the hard thing, even if you're not there yet. That's real.

JJake M.RegularAug 5

Been there with my brother too man. Sometimes you gotta just decide if holding the grudge is worth more than the relationship. Not always easy but usually worth it in the end.

JJosh M.RegularAug 3

Your oldest just gave you a gift by calling that out. Kids have a way of showing us what we need to work on. Maybe reaching out to your brother could be the first step for both of you.

DDerrick T.New DadAug 3

That's tough but your kid is right. I'm still learning how to handle this stuff myself, but I think modeling the struggle and actually trying to fix it means more than pretending we have it all figured out.

MMark A.RegularAug 3

This hits different when they call you out. Four kids have taught me that they're always watching how we handle conflict. Might be time to let that grudge go and show them what forgiveness actually looks like.

DDaniel M.RegularAug 4

This is such a tough spot to be in. I've definitely struggled with this too. What helped me was realizing that teaching forgiveness is less about me being perfect and more about showing my kids how to actually work through conflict and come out better on the other side.