How do I teach my kids integrity when I mess up?

4d ago1 min read

Been struggling with this. My 8 year old caught me in a lie yesterday about why we couldn't go to the park. Nothing major but it was a lie nonetheless. He called me out on it and I felt absolutely terrible. I've been telling him for years that God wants us to be honest but here I am doing the opposite. I apologized to him and explained why I lied but I'm wondering how other dads handle this. Do I just own my mistakes and let them see me repent? Feel like that's the right move but I want to do this intentionally.

7 comments172 views

Comments(7)

MMasonNew Dad2d ago

We had a similar situation last month and I just owned it with my kid. Said I was sorry, explained why I did it (even though it wasn't a good reason), and asked for forgiveness. Changed the whole dynamic.

BBrandonRegular2d ago

My 8 year old called me out on something similar last month and I was mortified. But then I apologized and explained it, and he actually seemed to respect me more for owning it. Sometimes our failures are their best lessons.

MMasonNew Dad2d ago

The fact that you're even worried about this tells me you care more about their character than most parents do. Kids need to see that adults mess up and how we handle it matters more than being perfect.

JJasonRegular3d ago

That's rough but honestly that moment might be exactly what he needed to see. Kids need to know their parents mess up too. How you handled the aftermath is what really teaches integrity.

BBrian M.New Dad4d ago

I struggle with this constantly. I think they learn integrity more from watching us course-correct than from watching us be perfect.

DDanielRegular2d ago

The best integrity lesson might actually be admitting you were wrong and showing him what it looks like to fix it. Kids respect honesty way more than we think.

BBrian M.New Dad2d ago

I had the same thing happen with my oldest and it was awful. What I learned is that explaining why you lied and what you should have done instead is actually more powerful than just trying to hide it. They see through it anyway.