How do you explain why bad things happen to your kids? | DadHQ

How do you explain why bad things happen to your kids?

May 121 min read

My 8 year old asked me yesterday why his best friend's dad got cancer. I froze. Told him it's part of living in a fallen world and that we trust God's plan, but man I could tell he wasn't satisfied with that answer. How do you guys handle these conversations? I want him to have strong faith but I also don't want to give him hollow answers when he's really searching for understanding. Would appreciate any wisdom here.

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Comments(6)

PPedroRegularMay 14

Rough question man. I think honesty is the way to go without overwhelming them. My therapist suggested keeping it age appropriate and simple. Kids actually handle reality better than we think sometimes.

TTrevorRegularMay 14

That's a tough one. I'd maybe acknowledge that bad things happen to good people and it's not their friend's dad's fault. Then maybe talk about how they can help or be a good friend. Let them process the sadness.

BBrandonRegularMay 13

I've had this conversation. My 7yo asked something similar after his friend's grandpa passed. Honestly I just told him that sometimes people get sick and their bodies don't work right, and it's okay to feel sad about it. Didn't try to make it into something bigger than it was.

BBrandonRegularMay 12

That's such a tough question man. I remember my son asking something similar when his teacher was out sick for a while. I ended up just being honest that sometimes bad things happen to good people and it's not fair, but we're here for the people we love. Your kid is lucky you didn't just brush him off.

MMatteoRegularMay 13

You did the right thing by not having an answer ready. Kids actually respect that honesty more than some flowery explanation. How's your son doing with it now?

PPedroRegularMay 12

This one hits different as a parent. I told my kids that sometimes bodies get sick just like they catch colds, but much more serious. Kept it simple and age appropriate. The hardest part was knowing I couldn't make it make sense for them, because honestly it doesn't.