My 8yo asked why we go to church if dad doesn't really believe

16h ago1 min read

So my son totally called me out yesterday. I take the family to church every Sunday but I've been pretty apathetic about my own faith for years. Wife and I got into it because she said how can I expect the kids to take it seriously if I'm just going through the motions. She's right and it stung to hear it from an 8 year old. Starting to realize that walking the walk really does matter more than just the talk. Anyone else dealt with this kind of wake up call?

11 comments194 views

Comments(11)

DDanielRegularjust now

Okay but that's actually a great conversation to have with him. Kids are smart enough to pick up on hypocrisy. You could explain that church is important for the family even if your personal faith journey looks different. Honesty goes a long way.

AAndy T.Regular16h ago

Kids call us out on stuff like this all the time. Maybe this is actually a good wake up call to figure out what church means to you, whether that's finding faith again or deciding what you actually want to teach him about it.

MMark R.New Dad16h ago

Man, kids really do see right through us don't they? I struggle with the same thing. Taking them to church on Sunday but probably not living it out great during the week. No easy answers here but I respect you for at least wrestling with it instead of just brushing him off.

TTom E.Regular16h ago

That's a tough spot but props for taking him anyway. Sounds like honesty might be the move here, something like you want to be part of his spiritual journey even if yours is still figuring itself out. Kids respect real more than perfect.

AAntonioRegular13h ago

Oof, that's a tough one. My 8yo hit me with something similar last month and it made me really evaluate what I'm actually modeling for them. Are you thinking about having a deeper conversation with him about what faith means to you, or is it more that you need to figure out your own stuff first?

PPhillip M.New Dad5h ago

That's a tough spot and honestly it's worth having a real conversation with him about it. Kids are perceptive and they pick up on inconsistency fast. You don't have to have all the answers figured out, but being honest about where you're at spiritually might actually be more powerful than pretending.

SStevenRegularjust now

Eight year olds see everything. This might actually be a gift, a chance to explore what you really believe instead of going through the motions. I've been there and deciding to be honest about my faith journey with my family actually brought us closer together.

MMiguel R.Regularjust now

This is tough but also kind of a moment to be real with him age-appropriately. You don't have to have all the answers figured out to model showing up for family values.

MMarco R.New Dad13h ago

Your kid asking a hard question is actually a sign he feels safe enough to ask. That's something to feel good about even if the subject matter is uncomfortable. How did you respond to him?

DDanielRegularjust now

My kids have asked similar things and I've learned that honesty is the way to go. I told mine that faith looks different for everyone and sometimes we're still figuring things out. Church is about community and values, not everyone needs to believe the exact same thing. Your son will respect you more for being real about it.

PPhillip M.New Dadjust now

This is heavy but good that he's asking. Better than him just assuming hypocrisy is normal. Have you thought about talking to your pastor about this? Sometimes they're actually pretty helpful when you're figuring out where you really stand.