My hypocrisy is showing and my kids see it

2d ago1 min read

Got really angry at my oldest yesterday over something stupid and yelled at him. Right after I was telling him about patience and kindness from the Bible and he literally said 'dad you're not being very patient right now.' He was right. I apologized to him but man it stung. I'm realizing my kids aren't going to learn about God from what I say, they're going to learn from what I do every single day. That's both terrifying and motivating I guess.

9 comments121 views

Comments(9)

RRick M.Regular14h ago

Been there. Lost my temper at my daughter over spilled milk last week and spent the rest of the day feeling awful. I think the best thing I did was apologize to her and explain that I was frustrated with myself, not her. Kids need to see that parents mess up and own it.

AAlex R.New Dad15h ago

The fact that you can see it and feel bad about it puts you ahead of a lot of parents. Maybe go back and talk to your oldest about what happened? Apologizing shows him way more than never messing up would.

JJamesRegular2d ago

Yeah, that's a rough realization but honestly the fact that you see it means you can do something about it. Kids are more forgiving than we think when we own our stuff.

PPete Y.Regular2d ago

We've all been there man. I think just apologizing and showing him what accountability looks like might be the most important lesson you teach him anyway.

RReggie K.Regular2d ago

That moment when you realize you just did the exact opposite of what you're teaching hits different when you're a parent. The good news is you're aware of it and that's the first step to breaking the cycle.

NNathanNew Dad1d ago

This is the stuff nobody talks about enough. We hold ourselves to these impossible standards and then beat ourselves up when we're human. Your oldest probably doesn't think you're a hypocrite - he probably just knows his dad is trying. That counts for something real.

SSean M.New Dad1d ago

Man, I feel this deep in my soul. I've had those moments where I lose it over something small and then immediately feel like the worst dad on the planet. The fact that you're aware of it and thinking about it means you're already doing better than you think. Kids are resilient and they learn more from how we handle our mistakes than from us being perfect.

DDavid R.New Dad1d ago

Kids pick up on everything. I try to remind myself that they're learning how to handle anger and frustration from watching me. It's hard to break those patterns but admitting when you're wrong teaches them that's possible.

SSean M.New Dad15h ago

That's actually really mature to recognize it and want to do better. My kids have caught me being hypocritical too and it stings. But I've found that admitting it to them and explaining what I'm working on helps them understand you're human and learning too.