He's 17 and his buddies are throwing a party this weekend. He swears nothing crazy will happen and that he won't drink. Part of me wants to trust him but another part knows how these things go. How strict should I be? I want to raise a son who makes good choices on his own, not just because dad's watching. Would love some perspective from you guys who've navigated the teen years.
At 17 he's going to go to these things whether you say yes or no. Better to have him feel like you trust him than to push him toward sneaking around.
The 'nothing crazy will happen' line is what every 17 year old says. Maybe focus less on whether there'll be alcohol and more on making sure he has a ride home and knows he can call you no questions asked if things go south.
My son had this exact conversation with me two years ago. I said yes but told him straight up that I'd pick him up anytime, no judgment, no lecture. He only texted me once the whole night asking for a ride because his buddy was too drunk to drive. He appreciated that I kept my word about the no lecture thing.
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I'd let him go but maybe have a real conversation about expectations first. Not lecturing, just making sure he knows you trust his judgment and asking what his actual plan is if things get weird.