My 16 year old told me last month he doesn't think he believes in God. My first instinct was to shut it down but I held back. We've been talking more and I'm trying to listen instead of just lecture. Part of me is terrified he's lost but another part sees him wrestling with faith which maybe is important. Looking for advice from guys who've walked through this with their kids.
That's a tough one. My first instinct would probably be the same - shut it down, defend the faith. But 16 is old enough that he's actually thinking about this stuff himself. Shutting him down just means he stops talking to you about it. What matters is keeping the relationship open even if you disagree on the belief part.
This is about way more than theology at this point. Your son is exploring his identity and beliefs - that's healthy even if it scares you. The worst thing you can do is make him feel like he has to hide this from you or that he's disappointed you. Have you had a real conversation with him about why he feels this way?
This is hard to navigate but important. My advice would be to listen first before you react. Ask him what led to this, what he's thinking about, why he feels this way. Might be a phase, might be genuine, but either way shutting down the conversation won't help anything. Your relationship with him matters more than whether he believes right now.
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I get why the instinct is to shut it down but that's only going to push him away. He's 16 and figuring out what he actually believes instead of just accepting what he's been told. That takes guts. You can still have your faith and support him exploring his questions. Those things aren't mutually exclusive.