Son wants to quit youth group, need advice | DadHQ

Son wants to quit youth group, need advice

Jul 301 min read

My 12 year old has been going to youth group for 2 years and suddenly doesn't want to go anymore. Says the other kids are cliquey and he feels left out. Part of me wants to make him go anyway because I think consistency matters spiritually, but my wife says forcing him might push him away from faith altogether. We're trying to figure out if this is just a phase or if we need to find a different youth group. Anyone dealt with this?

7 comments132 views

Comments(7)

GGarrett M.New DadJul 31

This is the hardest part about parenting teenagers. They need autonomy but also guidance. Maybe compromise and say he takes a month off, then you revisit it together. See if it was a phase or something deeper.

DDaniel M.RegularJul 30

At 12 that's a tough age. I'd sit down and actually listen to why he doesn't want to go instead of assuming it's just laziness. Could be the group dynamic, feeling too young or old, whatever. Understanding the real reason matters.

TToddRegularJul 31

I went through this with my middle kid. Turns out there was some drama in the group that he didn't want to talk about at first. Had a real conversation and learned what was actually going on. Worth digging deeper before you decide either way.

RRick M.RegularJul 31

Don't force it. Making him keep going when he's checked out might make him resent it even more. Maybe take a break and revisit in a few months, or look for a different group that's a better fit for him.

JJoeRegularJul 31

At 12 I'd definitely ask him what specifically changed. Is it the group itself, the activities, friends, pressure? Sometimes they just need a break but you gotta dig into the why before deciding anything.

SSean M.RegularJul 31

We had this with one of ours around that age. Turns out there was some friend drama happening. We didn't force it but didn't let them off easy either. Maybe try a conversation before shutting it down?

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DDavid M.RegularAug 1

I'd give him space to figure out his own faith journey but also have a real talk about commitment. Two years in is when things get harder but also more meaningful.