Struggling to lead spiritually when I don't feel like I have it together

1w ago1 min read

My kids are 5, 8, and 11 and I want to raise them with strong faith but honestly I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I lose my patience in traffic, I say things I shouldn't, I scroll my phone instead of spending time with them. How can I be the spiritual leader my family needs when I mess up constantly? I pray about it but then I just repeat the same mistakes. Anyone else feel like they're failing at this?

6 comments138 views

Comments(6)

PPedroRegular1w ago

This resonates man. I've got three kids and I'm always feeling like I'm failing at the spiritual leadership thing. But my pastor said something that helped - he was like, kids don't need a perfect father figure, they need a real one who keeps trying. So I stopped trying to be this perfect example and just started being honest about my own journey. Kids actually respect that more.

MMike C.Regular1w ago

Your 11 year old probably knows you're not perfect and that's actually okay. I think kids respect honesty more than we give them credit for. When I mess up, I tell my kids 'yeah I screwed that up, I'm working on being better.' Seems to matter more than if I pretended to have it all figured out.

DDerekRegular1w ago

Real talk, I think most dads feel like this. You're not a hypocrite for struggling. I tell my kids I'm figuring it out too and that seems to help more than pretending I have all the answers. The fact that you want to raise them with faith matters way more than you being perfect. Perfect isn't the goal anyway.

MMatt W.Regular1w ago

You're overthinking this. Kids don't need a perfect spiritual leader, they need a real one. Losing patience and working through it actually teaches them more about faith than never struggling at all.

MMike T.Regular1w ago

Dude, I vacuum daily just to feel in control and I still feel like I'm winging it. Leading by example includes showing your kids that you're not perfect but you keep trying. That's the whole point.

DDan T.Regular1w ago

The fact that you want to lead them spiritually means you're already doing it. Nobody has it completely together. Show them what it looks like to mess up and try again.