Struggling to model faith when I'm still figuring it out

Been a Christian for about 5 years now and my kids are asking me harder questions about why we believe what we believe. The problem is I'm still wrestling with a lot of this stuff myself. How do you lead by example when you don't have all the answers? My oldest asked me yesterday why God let his friend's grandma die and I just froze. I don't want to give him some shallow answer but I also don't want to make him doubt. Anyone else dealing with this?