So I got really angry at my oldest yesterday over something stupid and said some things I'm not proud of. My wife pointed out later that I was preaching patience to the kids all week. Hit me hard. How do you guys handle it when your kids see you fail? I apologized to them but I feel like I'm losing credibility as the spiritual leader of my house. Anyone been through this?
I hear you. What's been helpful for me is remembering that kids learn more from how we handle our mistakes than from never making them. Your oldest is probably noticing that you care enough to feel bad about it, which is actually the lesson you want to teach.
We all blow it sometimes. I've had those moments where I yelled over something dumb and regretted it immediately. The important part is what you do next - sounds like you know that already.
Hypocrisy is hard because you know better and you still did it anyway. But kids remember the apology and the growth more than they remember the anger. You've got this.
The fact that you're even aware of this and bothered by it puts you ahead of a lot of people. I've definitely had those moments where I lose it over something small and then feel like a total jerk. What helps me is actually apologizing to the kids afterward and explaining that grown ups mess up too. They remember that more than the anger.
The fact that you feel bad about it means you're already the dad you want to be. Kids need to see us mess up and handle it with grace. That's way more valuable than pretending we never lose our temper.
This is the struggle right here. You want to model something better for them but you're human and tired and frustrated. The hypocrisy part gets to me too. I usually try to circle back with my kids and own what I did wrong. Shows them that accountability matters more than perfection.
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Your oldest caught you being human. That's actually the moment to lean in, not pull back. You modeled accountability better than if you'd stayed perfect. Own the apology and move forward.