Struggling with leading by example when I mess up

1d ago1 min read

I lost my temper with my oldest yesterday over something stupid and I feel awful. He saw me yell, saw me frustrated, and I know he's watching to see how I handle it. Been thinking about this all day. How do you guys balance being honest about your failures with not crushing your kids's view of you as their spiritual leader? I know I need to apologize to him, but I'm wondering if any of you have been through this and how you addressed it with your kids.

7 comments181 views

Comments(7)

NNathanNew Dadjust now

Hey, at least you recognize it and feel awful about it. That's literally the whole point of leading by example. Kids need to see that we mess up AND that we can own it. You're doing better than you think.

MMatt B.Regular7h ago

I struggle with this constantly across two households. I've learned that my kids actually respect me more when I apologize and explain why I reacted that way. They're more forgiving than we give them credit for.

RRick M.New Dad12h ago

This hits home. Between work stress and juggling two kids, I've had those moments where I blow up over nothing. The fact that you feel bad means you care. That matters more than being perfect.

RRob T.New Dad1d ago

The fact that you feel awful about it means you're doing the right thing. Apologizing to your kid and showing him that you recognize when you messed up, that's the real leadership. That's what he'll remember.

KKyle M.New Dad21h ago

We all have those moments, man. With three kids I lose my patience way more than I'd like to admit. What helped me was actually talking to my oldest afterwards and explaining that even dads mess up and have to do better. Kids are more forgiving than we think.

CChris M.New Dad21h ago

Man, I've been there. The guilt after losing your temper hits different when you see that look on their face. What helped me was actually talking to my oldest about it later, like really talking. He was more understanding than I expected.

AAdam R.New Dad20h ago

This is hitting me hard because I did the same thing last week. Lost it over spilled juice. The guilt afterwards is worse than the actual yelling. But I think owning it like you're doing right now is exactly what they need to see.