Teaching grace to my angry kid

1d ago1 min read

My 9 year old has a real problem with anger and grudges. Kid will hold onto something forever and it's destroying his friendships and his attitude at home. I've been reading through some Bible stuff about forgiveness and grace and I'm realizing I need to model this better myself. I get angry at traffic and complain about my boss in front of them. Hard to teach grace when they see me being petty. This Sunday I'm planning to have a real conversation with him about how Jesus forgave us even when we didn't deserve it and how that's what we're called to do. Pray this gets through to him because I'm running out of ideas.

10 comments135 views

Comments(10)

TToddRegularjust now

Man, this is such a tough one. My oldest does the same thing and I've learned that sometimes you have to help him process the hurt before he can let it go. Grace is way harder to teach than it should be.

TToddRegularjust now

9 year olds are rough with the grudges. My daughter is the same way. What's helped us is making her talk through why she's actually mad instead of just staying mad.

BBrian M.New Dadjust now

Anger and grudges at 9 is rough. I wonder if some of it is just how his brain is wired at that age or if something deeper is going on. Have you talked to his teacher or a counselor about patterns?

EEvan M.New Dad16h ago

Have you tried talking to him about what he's actually angry about underneath? Sometimes kids hold grudges because they feel like they weren't heard or understood in the first place.

JJake M.New Dad6h ago

This hits home. My 9 year old is the same way and it comes from me honestly. I'm working on modeling grace myself because he watches everything we do.

TToddRegular14h ago

This is tough because you can't really force grace, right? But maybe modeling it when he messes up will eventually sink in. I've been working on this with my three and it takes forever but it does get better.

MMasonNew Dad4h ago

Have you tried talking to him about what's actually making him angry instead of just the anger itself? My daughter was holding grudges until I realized she felt disrespected, and once we addressed that it changed everything.

BBrandonRegular13h ago

Prayers and patience. That's what's been working for us. When he gets stuck in that angry loop, we pray about it and it seems to help him shift his perspective.

BBrad M.New Dad10h ago

That anger is probably learned behavior from somewhere. Model what grace looks like when you mess up with him. Kids watch everything we do way more than they listen.

SSteveRegular3h ago

Teaching grace is hard when kids feel like justice wasn't served. Maybe talk about forgiving without forgetting? That helped my son understand it's not about letting people off.