Wife thinks I'm too harsh on discipline, I think she's too soft

1w ago1 min read

Getting frustrated with the inconsistency in our house. When the kids act out, I believe in firm correction and real consequences. My wife is more about talking it through and understanding their feelings. Don't get me wrong, I love her heart, but I think we're raising kids who don't respect authority. I've tried talking to her about us getting on the same page spiritually about parenting but she gets defensive. Anyone else dealing with this dynamic? How do you find balance when you and your spouse have different discipline philosophies?

4 comments119 views

Comments(4)

SSam T.Regular6d ago

The inconsistency thing is brutal. My wife and I finally sat down and actually talked through what our discipline philosophy was instead of just reacting in the moment. Made a world of difference once we were on the same page.

BBradRegular1w ago

Firm correction is necessary but kids also need to know they're still loved. The sweet spot is being consistent with consequences while making sure they know the discipline isn't about you being angry. That's what we're working toward anyway.

DDanNew Dad1w ago

This was a huge tension point for us. Ended up realizing it wasn't about hard vs soft, it was about consistency and making sure they understood the why behind the rule. When we both understood that, the approach didn't matter as much.

SSam T.Regular6d ago

Have you two actually talked about what you each grew up with discipline-wise? That's usually where the difference comes from. Mine was strict, hers was way more relaxed, and we had to find middle ground.